Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
