I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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