I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
