I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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