I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
