well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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