Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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