u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
