Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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