Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Boobs speak an international language.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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