Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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