At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
