$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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