Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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