What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
