Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
