but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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