When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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