you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
