sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
