Swine flu. Run for my life!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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