it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
