we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
