he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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