Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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