think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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