he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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