I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
