Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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