peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
