is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
