Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
