is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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