im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
