I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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