i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
