no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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