Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
