Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
