He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
