Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
