you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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