Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
