We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
