Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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