we're blogging at a bar
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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