bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
