somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
