Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
