She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
