We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
