dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Terrible idea I love it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
